Just like you...

I was finally able to log in and get everything fixed on my website. There's so much that needs updating so please bare with me as I get all of this completed. It has been so long since I've even blogged! September 2016... So much has changed since then. There are still things I very much plan to keep private. In fact, when I opened the blog tab and saw the "+" to create a new post I immediately froze and went into panic mode. It isn't that I don't want to create and share content with you all. I do! I'm just having an extremely hard time with putting words to paper these days. Writing has always been an outlet for me and to not have that, I have to say I've been a little lost. The 'problem' here is now I have this yoga business. I guess it's not really a problem; hence why I quoted it - But so many of my students think I am this person who has it all together. What happens when the walls come down and you see that I really am just like you? I have the same worries and problems as you all! And while I'd like to continue portraying that my life is near perfect; the simple fact of the matter is that it is very much so not anywhere near perfect!

I go to yoga classes and I think of my to-do list or my grocery list just like you. Something comes up that stresses me out and I deal with it just like you do! In fact, I have the added bonus of going to a class and paying attention to everyone else's mat but my own because that's just where my brain goes. "Is she in alignment?" "Does she need help?" "Why isn't this teacher offering her additional props or modifications?" Keeping my mind from wandering off my mat has become my BIGGEST challenge since becoming a yoga instructor. Add that to everyday worries and insecurities and well.... Here I am - just like you!

Being a yoga instructor isn't a magic fix for these kinds of things. They help; sure. But that's because they give me outlets to go to when I need it. I complain to my yoga instructor and she tells me to get my shit together and gives me a whole new outsiders point of view to look at the entire situation differently. I lag in my practice too guys! There are days when I just don't want to go to yoga. Maybe it's because I'm exhausted from the week... maybe it's because I don't want to deal with the issues that I have come up in my practice... maybe it's because the last 6 weeks in Savasana I've literally laid there and balled my eyes out for no apparent reason. Whatever it is; I give the same excuses as you do! I blow it off JUST like you do! and much like you, I can totally tell when I am needing yoga back into my life and still; it doesn't make it any easier! 

So; here I am. Back from my rut - or rather beginning to dig myself out of my rut because I'm done self-sabotaging myself. The mountains that I was merely only supposed to climb I've kept with me! I am only here in this place because of ME. MY ACTIONS! MY Choices! I want to hold better classes for you all and give you all what you all so desperately need! And that means you get to meet the real me! No smoke and mirrors this time!

I've got some things up my sleeve! I'm going to take the next couple weeks to get my website updated and I'll slowly unveil! If there's one thing I've realized it's that sharing yoga with you is most definitely part of my life's purpose. Being able to hold space for each and every one of you is one of the most humbling experiences I've ever witnessed. You all enrich my soul to no end and so I want to thank you for that! I'm so glad that I chose this path and yet somehow I think if I never ended up choosing it, it still would have been my destiny! 

Today... on the drive

It seems as though I’ve completely fallen off of the grid! I have. I know I have. There’s been too many things happening. None that I care to share publicly. BUT, I’m changing. I’m evolving. I’m growing… Sure, I’d like to do a huge catch up for all of you. But the fact of the matter is, sometimes things are just better left unsaid.

I’m a light worker! Officially attuned in Reiki One! I cannot even begin to describe how different I feel. I can however narrow it down to one word.

Alive!

I feel ALIVE!

I wrote a piece in my Reiki Journal this morning about my experience post attunement.

Today on the drive…

Today on the drive to work, everything seemed clear. I step outside and suddenly a huge weight lifts from my shoulders. I can literally feel it lifting. I get in the car and turn on some music. I light a cigarette. I know it’s bad for me. I know I should stop. All in due time, I PROMISE! The music blasts and the sun is shining. It’s a glorious day! I feel my aura begin to expand. Literally as though someone is blowing it up like a balloon. Immediately I smile. Grinning from ear to ear I think… Holy Shit! I’m back! Tears fill my eyes and I say out loud “I’M BACK!” I take another puff… “WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?” I laugh… wipe away more tears… go to take one more puff… and decide to toss it.

I’m so glad I’m back! Please don’t ever leave again! NEVER!

Tribe Sisterhood Campout: 2016

This past weekend I attended Tribe Sisterhood Campout at Mullen's Farm in Elburn. Going into it, I wasn't exactly sure what to expect. I found myself super "hermit" like, and taken aback as I just observed everything that came to be. I didn't network much. I talked to a few ladies, but I mostly just sat back and listened to conversations. It was a LOT to absorb. It almost felt like a bit of a culture shock in a way - but when you got down to it, we really were all the same... Of same faiths, of same beliefs, of same values. Just all different expressed in our own unique individual ways.

This was my first time camping in a tent. Granted, I've back yard camped in a tent before (or glamped as some of the guys like to tease). But I've never put up a tent in my life... and I've never been on an actual camp site. So that was pretty neat! Something I definitely want to do more of (but only in the cooler months). The first day opened with an amazing opening circle ceremony and then the entire day was filled with workshops.

Photo Credit: Shelli Mullens

Opening ceremony starts with us in a huge circle surrounding the fire pit. We all join hands and spiral around the pit. Once we are back where we started, we grab our embroidery floss we chose at registration. Shelli tells us to go to 2 sisters whom we have never met and to tie our strings together; end to end. Once we do this, we then take it to one person who strings it through some sort of apparatus before sending it over to Shelli. Once all ends are taken, the end result is a HUGE web which we are all tangled up in. After all ends were accounted for, all of our strings were then connected together, weaved though the apparatus into one beautiful multi-colored strand. 

The End Result:

Photo Credit: Shelli Mullens

Then started the workshops;

The first workshop we went to was about Collective Healing. We were late to the workshop because we lost track of time, but I felt like we arrived at the best possible time to tune into that conversation. Almost like we got there exactly for what we needed to hear. Denise was so sweet and of course everything she had to say was so insightful! This workshop was all about focusing on our basic needs and being able to give empathy rather than sympathy. To be able to recognize why someone is acting the way they are, and to not take on the energy they are giving off; but merely empathize with them. Because, we have ALL felt the way someone is expressing anger or sadness before. 

It was just a lovely talk and I'm so glad we were able to tune into it.

Second we went to the Shamanic Journeying workshop with Heather. This was to me a bit of a "culty" part of the workshops. Honestly, I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I did it. I read up on it a little before attending and thought it would be super interesting to attend. I come from Christian faith, but I am so intrigued by all other faiths that I love exploring and watching.

We set up in a barn. Immediately, I recognized the energy in the room. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good. I just took note, and took a seat in a spot that called to me. When she began, I just remember feeling really uneasy. I think I even heard "Go Get a Bible" in my mind and smiled and thanked my Grandma Don for being with me. She instructed us to call upon our spirit animals if we knew what they were. I don't; but immediately called upon the Phoenix for some reason. So, we begin with the rituals and visualization and at this point I'm just really on edge. I can feel the energy begin to shift in the room and I notice my hands in a grounding mudra. 

When she finally gets to me, my eyes are softly closed, and I am still clenching my fists in this grounding mudra. I'm holding really tight when I feel as though I'm about to be touched on my back. I keep my eyes closed. She continues and later on starts with the drum. At this point, I feel really uneasy. I feel a male presence behind me and the closer she gets, I begin to feel as though someone is breathing down my neck. My fists are now wrapped around the arms of my chair and I'm white knuckled. She approaches me and my eyes clench tighter. The drum is beating and it's vibrating my entire body. Clenching the chair, eyes tightly shut, I begin repeating in my mind over and over "I only let light in. I only let light in. I only let light in." I must have said it 50 times. Finally, the feeling went away. But about 5 minutes later she decides we need to move from the barn. I overhear her talking about the negative energy and I'm super glad I wasn't the only one that felt it. I don't know what message I was supposed to receive... But that definitely wasn't the way I wanted to get it. Outside, we each took turns beating the drum.

I am not sure I want to do this again. It was definitely an experience.

The last workshop we attended was a Meditaton led by Pavla. This was by far the coolest experience. Also in the barn. I know what you're thinking. But no, the energy was completely different!!! It was lighter... It even seemed brighter in the room.

We began our meditation with 12 rounds of OM and it felt GOOD! The entire thing felt fabulous! Almost as though I was floating. Pavla begins to take us through a journey of the chakras begining in the root and asks us to see a brick red color. As this color finally appears to me, she begins to ask us to visit the sacral chakra. Immediately I see bright orange. A warmth comes over my body and after a while we move to the solar plexus chakra. She calls for us to see yellow and almost immediately again, a bright vivid yellow appears. This woke me from my trans. Not only was it so bright, it was almost like someone was shining something towards me on purpose. I open my eyes to see if that's what she is doing but there she is, eyes closed, still talking us through the meditation. I'm kind of shocked, but amazed and so I close my eyes and drift back into the meditation. We move to the heart. Normally this is green however this time I don't see green. I see pink. She chimes in with describing why we may be seeing pink. It was as if she literally just read my mind and I open my eyes once again. She's still talking; eyes closed. The rest of the way through the chakras, I couldn't see any of the colors. I think by that time I had awakened myself from it too much to get back.. BUT I also felt myself drifting to sleep. So, that could also be why too I suppose. I left the meditation feeling very calm. Which only made me interacting with people even more of a challenge.

After that, we walked around to the various tents and I listened mostly as Caitlin networked and offered her barters up.

For dinner Caitlin and I packed tons of snacks. But I also picked from the potluck buffet. Then after, we returned to our tent to get ready to just chill. As we were getting ready, we were called to the campfire for story time and songs.

There An told the story of Bluebeard from Women Who Run With Wolves. (I ordered the book today). I've heard of the book but that was the first time I've truly learned what it was about. I'm super intrigued and I'm so looking forward to a great late summer read!

An telling the story of Bluebeard

After, we headed back to our tent and decided to do some tarot.

We each decided to work with the Animal Spirit Deck and then also my regular tarot deck. The questions we asked were;

1.) What was the message I was supposed to receive in the barn?

                 and

2.) What message does my spirit guide have for me.

My Spirit Animal Card: Panther

Literally every single one of my cards, from that Panther card to the 3 I pulled from the tarot deck ALL had to deal with purging. The message was literally as clear as day and I remember Caitlin looking at me after she read the 3rd card to herself before reading it aloud and saying, "You better go home, and f***ing PURGE!" As she read it, I got goosebumps.

So... My new project is to develop a schedule to get everything I want to done around the house. Last year, I made a check list to keep on the fridge for a few months. I set assigned projects to weeks and weekends and forced myself to complete them at those times. Then, to give myself even more satisfaction, I even made a check off box to check it off as we completed. 

I'm going to be doing this to tackle all of these overwhelmingly large projects!

All in all, though I was so quiet and taken aback. I learned so much and I literally CANNOT WAIT until next year!

Love & Light Sisters!!!

YOU are more important than a number!

A few weeks ago I went to dinner with a few friends.  At one point during this dinner, I remember making note of my butter knife and imagining what it would feel like to slice my veins open with it. Thinking that it had to be better than enduring this entire dinner conversation. This is literally what I envisioned as I sipped my alcoholic beverage and listened to this discussion go down. This hasn't been the only time. In fact, I've been brewing a post like this since January; if not before. I just feel like lately, I keep having the same dinners over and over. So much so, that I've finally decided I'm going to say something.

So, the ENTIRE 3 hours spent over dinner revolved around weight and the number that reflected back to them on the scale. Sure, at times I may have felt super uncomfortable during these conversations because I was definitely bigger than the rest of them, and if they thought that about themselves just what did they think of me?

But listen, if exercise and getting healthy is what you’re into; by all means! And Kudos to you for working on your health. Seriously. Losing inches and pounds is HARD work and you most definitely deserve to be congratulated and applauded for each pound lost and the dedication it took you to get there. It's inspiring! It truly is! But if your entire dinner conversation revolves around a number on the scale; THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG! If you’re holding yourself back from dating or from taking a trip because the number on the scale doesn’t reflect what you, in your mind, classify as “perfect”; then THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG! Regardless of what that number is, you are BEAUTIFUL!  

No, I’m not just saying that. You are so much more than that number. You see, were put on this Earth to make a difference regardless of how big or small you are. That number, small or large, DOES NOT define you as a person and quite frankly I hate to break it to you, but changing that number will also not define you as a person either.

It’s not going to magically drop off a man at your doorstep… It’s not going to magically make everything okay. You’re going to get where you so desperately want to be and the unhappiness isn’t going to magically go away.

By now you’re reading this, infuriated with me and thinking “Well Miss Know It all, what should I do then?” My answer to that is, well, I’m not exactly sure. I don’t know all of the answers. But what I do know is that from the moment you begin to look within yourself your life will begin to drastically change.  If someone walking down the street taunting you about your body and the way you look isn’t okay; then why is it okay for you to be doing the same thing to yourself over and over like a broken record? Those flaws or imperfections you’re focusing on day in and day out are YOU. In all retrospect, they aren’t really flaws; they’re what make you a person. A beautiful, living, breathing person with beautiful insight and valued opinions appreciated by the world and the people like me that reside in it.

It’s time to focus your attention in and become comfortable in our own skin! I know it's easier said than done. Of course, even the most positive person has their days where the self-negativity arises. But I promise you that if you remind yourself over and over that YOU'RE WORTH IT, that you are more than a number, that you're more than the size of your calf, arm or your butt and focus your attention on the positive; that negative self talk will go away. It might come back... Matter of fact, I'll warn you that it most definitely will.  Just because I say that it’s okay to tune into your body and accept the way it is doesn’t mean you can’t long for change. It’s okay to want to change your body!  To work towards a healthier you. It’s okay!

What’s not okay, and what I won’t just sit by and watch, is you tormenting yourself over the way you look or the number that reflects back to you on the scale. Of course I’d like to work on my own body and improve my health by shedding some of the excess weight that I carry. But do you know what I don’t want to do? I don’t ever want to lose ME! Because big or small, I am still me and I’m not going anywhere... and neither are you.

All the love in the world,

M

May The Road Rise Up To Meet You...

Well hello there! You know, each and every time I swear to myself, I'm jumping back into the swing of things, something else happens and well, I fall even further behind.

Since we last spoke, our family lost someone near and dear to our hearts! My husband's Grandma passed away on May 9th. We learned that she hadn't much longer to live after a doctors visit a few weeks prior. Then it seems things took a turn for the worst, and progressed much faster than any of us imagined. We spent Mother's Day around her bedside and she passed away shortly the day after.

My husband grew up with her and had had a relationship much like I did with my Grandma Don. So, not only was it painful to watch, in a sense I felt like I was going through it all over again.

I first met Grandma O'Regan almost 11 years ago at a family St. Patrick's Day party. Little did I know she would leave such a huge footprint on my soul. I will most remember her for her gentle kindness. Her stories of Ireland as well as her map guide of "Who Came From Where"  over tea and toast with apricot spread were simply the best!

She danced away the night of my wedding to Eric. I remember multiple people coming up to me asking about her and where she got her energy from!

My favorite story of Grandma was when I had caught her smoking in the alley of the old house on Nottingham. I was heading out to my car when I saw her and thought I'd go talk with her before I left. In the almost 6 years I spent on Nottingham, I NEVER knew she had smoked. I saw her standing there, smoking her cigarette. She must have heard me coming, and when she did she turned to look. As soon as she saw me, she flung the cigarette out into the middle of the alley and stooped down. Odd, I thought. I continued further. Still stooped down, I asked her, "What are you doing out here Grandma?" and her reply, "These, damn kids... Always leaving their cigarette butts out here.. They're everywhere!" Now, for one; I had never heard Grandma curse before.... and two; I literally just saw her smoking that cigarette she blame on those poor neighbor kids. I just looked at her and we both laughed as I said, "Now Grandma, I just saw you throw that cigarette butt! You're going to get some kid who's mom is listening outside in trouble!"

We never talked about it again. She got up, said come in for tea; and that was that.

She truly was one of the most beautiful women I have ever met; inside and out.

We are all heartbroken over her loss. But we know she is in a better place and is no longer suffering. These last few years have been extremely hard watching her slowly deteriorate. So truly, I am glad she is finally at peace.

"May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand"

we love you forever and for always,

xo

Dear Future Student,

My goal in this yoga world has always been to be the stepping stone. 

A stepping stone for the one who says "I can't ever do yoga" or a stepping stone for the one who simply needs an hour of stillness. 

Yeah, I'm going to push you, but not in only physical ways. Sure some of the poses we will do may be challenging. But I’ll tell you, THE most challenging thing you can do is be on YOUR mat. In your own body and in your own mind. 

Everything; EVERYTHING in life stops us from tuning into ourselves even the slightest bit. 

So yeah. It's probably going to suck that I'm asking you to be still. To control your movement by using your breath of which you're also controlling. 

It'sp r o b a b l y going to suck that I'm explaining the pose, walking you through it a couple of times and then there is silence.

You're probably going to want me to talk.

To fill in the void. 

But guess what? 

This is where YOU come in. If you can't be okay with the silence, THAT'S where I need YOU work.

It isn’t that I’m not leading you. I'm watching. Of course, I'm going to make sure you aren't struggling. I'll even chime in to remind you to focus on your breathing and to make sure you aren't holding your breath. I’ll even step in sometimes and tell you where to focus your breath or your energy.

I'm going to throw things out like ‘Hinge’ pose, where I'm asking you to truly think about which body part is moving and when. This pose is great for your hamstrings, glutes and core. But do you know what's getting more of a workout? Your mind! 

You have to remember to inhale and raise your arm, to exhale and lower it at the same time you raise your leg, to inhale again and lower your leg and raise your arm up above your head. Then after all of that, you have to remember to stop. That on that next exhale you're only lowering your arm before you begin this whole entire sequence of movement again. 

Sure. Those muscles you're working are getting a great workout. 

But your mind… That's what’s getting the brunt of it. 

It's okay that you don't like slow yoga. 

It's also okay if you want a faster pace. 

That means you've progressed past the point of my instruction. That means it's time to push yourself more to experience the benefits of other styles and postures in yoga. To see what else there is that you like and don't like.

It could also mean that while you've mastered the types of poses I'm cueing, you haven't yet been able to in tune to your body. And although you can complete an entire Vinyasa flow sequence easily (which I commend you for), you may also need more work on slowing down and getting in tune with your body!

Please know though, in no way, shape or form did you just waste your time;  For one, you learned something about yourself. You learned what you like – and what you don’t. You even spoke up and said what you preferred! That’s amazing! Do you know how many people keep silent on that kind of stuff?

You should also know that you didn’t waste my time either. That last hour we just spent together is so valuable to me. I’ll use it to better my teaching in the weeks, months and years to come. I’ll make changes and tweak things we did. I’ll even pull things that I really liked from our time together and bring them into a future class of mine.

In that short amount of time we spent together; we both learned things! Seriously, how rare is that? How amazing is it you can leave a situation having bettered yourself, and the person you just experienced it with?

Just remember, in the midst of all the chaos, to always check back with yourself. To give your mind that work out again, and to take the time your body so desperately needs in order you to listen to yourself. 

Hello, Fall! (goodbye Fall...)

This weekend was jam-packed with AWESOME! I am so unbelievably lucky to be doing what I'm doing, and to have the people who I have in my life.

Friday I went to my brother's Senior Night and the last home game of the Football season. I have to say, the farther we get into the school year - the more it sinks in, and the more I become an emotional wreck. If I never have kids, I will at least know what THIS feels like. Though, it might be better experiencing this because it's already so intense. I'm not sure I can even begin to fathom when this happens to me with my own kids.

Saturday was my husband and I's 6 year anniversary! Next month we will be together for a total of 10 years. God that makes me feel so old! I'm so lucky to have had the opportunity to have this amazing man in my life. He is there, through thick and thin - no matter what. I'm so happy I get to share this life with him, because there is no one else I would rather share it with. Saturday morning we had a little photo shoot.

This one happens to be my favorite picture!

We spent the afternoon with Eric's Mom. Had pizza (YUM!) and watched movies. She kept Cooper for the night so, we use that night to stop by the Club during bowling to see some friends we haven't seen in what feels like forever. I loved catching up and I wish we could see everyone more often. But with hectic schedules and a dog with some real separation anxiety issues - this becomes damn near impossible!

Sunday I had training. I ended up hurting my knee during the photo shoot after Cooper decided to take a walk in the woods. So, I skipped the morning practice and a lot of the poses I merely watched.

My favorite and least favorite time has become when we go over the Yamas & Niyamas book and homework. It's intense now. Like, sit for an hour and cry - intense. That's hard for me. But I'm facing some deep emotions that I'm bottling up inside. Oh yoga teacher training...

I LOVE these girls! They and this whole program are changing me!

Though one of us was out sick; we managed to still keep her there in spirit. Somehow, a chair was left out for her. Hopefully she is feeling better now. But know how much you were missed Linda! :-)

I found myself really inspired during some of the poses. I caught myself frantically trying to write things as Mindy or Jane said them. Quotes, modifications, more quotes... It's beautiful when the hardest poses that aren't for you inspire you as much as they do!!

October is almost over and it's going by so fast!!! I'm trying to savor every moment I can. But it's getting hard!

BONUS!

Here is another one of my favorites from our photo shoot :-)

giving the gift of Yoga

Going into my first class, I wanted to make it extra special. Sometimes on really amazing practices, a couple of my instructors would also have a bowl of chocolate set up for you to grab a piece on your way out. Sometimes we would even grab a tea bag to have when we got home or the morning after.

I wanted to be able to incorporate this into my class to show how much I appreciate all those who came out to support me truly begin my journey as a teacher.

So, I came up with a little "fluff pack" as one friend likes to call them. Essentially, it's a little piece of heaven for them indulge in and a little piece of me to remember while they enjoy their treats.
 

I came across this tutorial on Pinterest and fell in love with the cute packaging!

From there I began gathering my materials;

• Treat Bags - I found similar treat bags on Amazon here.
• The Goodies - I decided I was going to give away both Dove Chocolates and Tulsi Organic Tea and some Tazo Green Tea bags; so I purchased both milk and dark chocolates and a couple different flavors of the Tea (including Peppermint - my favorite) at my local Target. (Because that's where I purchase EVERYTHING!)
• Fabric - (I ventured to Hobby Lobby and began choosing fabric that caught my eye. I ended up selecting 3 different fabric prints and ordered 1/4 yd each of them. You really don't need much here.
• Lace Ribbon (you want this thick, like in the above photo and it's totally optional; I didn't end up using any of this)
• Pinking Shears (not necessary, but I love the way this look on fabric - and someone even commented on the fact that I used them! Which was nice.)
• Twine (You'll need a needle big enough for this to thread it through the top of the fabric. You may also choose to make a tiny slit with your fabric shears)
• Gift Tags - (I found cute brown ones from Hobby Lobby)
• Rubber Stamps/Ink Pads - you may already have this on hand. I just selected a few stamps that I felt had the most positive message and used those.
• Pretty paperclips - Target Dollar $pot has a GREAT selection of these. They always have the cutest things.
• Washi Tape - (this will secure the package closed)

From here I just began cutting the fabric/ribbon, stamping the gift tags and cutting the twine so that I could have an assembly line when I was ready to put my packages together.

When I was ready to assemble my bags, I also took out my amazing business cards that I ordered from Zazzle. A few weeks back, I took advantage of their 50% off sale. I also became a member of Zazzle Black for 30 days so I could also receive the perks of free shipping. You can literally go into your account and choose not to extend the subscription after you place that first order. So I didn't have to set a reminder - HUGE PLUS! I ended up ordering a few sets of business cards, loyalty punch cards, 5 class packs for when I begin normal classes, referral cards and one free class passes. Zazzle often runs 50% off business cards and other various discounts regularly.

So I set up my assembly line;

And here's what they ended up looking like when I was finished stuffing them!

I have to say; I am pretty impressed with myself on the way these turned out! I even had a few people come up to me and say, "Do you ever sleep?" haha. I had one say "Are you kidding me? These are so cute!!!! I'm taking a few!" It was an awesome feeling to make so many people's day with just something I took the time to make. Not even with what was inside; although EVERYONE enjoyed their tea and chocolate. But, because of the package. I really just wanted to take the time to say THANK YOU for coming to support me and for believing in me!

I've managed to Pin a few more packaging ideas that I really liked. Not only do I want to spoil my Yoga students with fun gifts like this, but it would be great for Christmas time for cookie exchanges or small gifts to friends and loved ones.

Anyway, I actually have a few things up my sleeve based solely on this practice, so I would definitely want to welcome those who attended this class with me. In my packages, I have included things that will not only bring them back, and also bring their friends. I'd love for them and anyone else to follow along on my journey with me! Please continue to share my posts with your friends! I love that I'm inspiring all of you not just in Yoga but in your lives. The fact that I can do that means the world to me!

My First Weekend of Teacher Training

Last weekend was my first weekend teacher training! It was exciting, intriguing, amazing, and exhausting; mentally, physically and emotionally! Like, literally ALL of those, rolled into this HUGE ball of a w e s o m e!

Friday was short and quick. There are 8 of us total; including the teachers. So, 6 students. Everyone is so different. We all look different. We have different styles. We have different reasons for wanting to share yoga with the world. But we're all here for the same thing. I found that SO awesome. Truly, we're an amazing bunch! I can't wait to get to know these ladies!!

The Holy Bible.... AKA, My Manual! :-)

We ended Friday night with a gentle practice. WHICH WAS AWESOME!!!!! Everything was on the floor. Which didn't mean it wasn't challenging. But it was REALLY neat to be able to do the entire practice on the floor. Something I totally want to try!

Saturday was longer. I was tired, but it was manageable. Practice was a little more intense. I guess the other thing I wasn't expecting was so much practice. Obviously I look now and think; DUH! And I'm so glad it isn't just sitting and listening to lecture all day/night. The practice was a happy medium in between my normal practices. Which was super nice.

For the most part, aside the practice - this is what Saturday looked like... This was in the beginning of the day when i just set up my stuff!

Sunday was the worst. And I say that the best way possible. It wasn't bad.... Actually, it was GREAT! I was just EXHAUSTED mentally at that point, and with little sleep the actual practice was super hard for me. Granted, it was a harder practice too. It took everything in me to not stomp my feet like my inner toddler and throw a tantrum. When the pain in my feet got too intense, I took a break. I left the room. Splashed water on my face. Took a couple breaths. Got a ball to roll my feet out with. Then I came back and tried again. I'm so proud of myself for that.

We also had a lot of information to get through. But the beauty of it is; even though it was 12 hours, it was FUN and exciting!

Of course, by the end of the weekend, I had a pretty sweet drink collection going on.

Exhibit A: my Sprite left over from dinner on Saturday, My Passion tea cup from Saturday (that I originally wanted to keep, but ended up throwing it out, my water, the coffee I drove in with Sunday, and then an Oatmeal Latte from Bakin' & Eggs (SO FREAKING GOOD!). I also enjoyed a delicious Blueberry scone. YUM! It's probably a good thing they're moving locations LOL

I also got a pretty SWEET bag from Target to lug all of my books and such with. I'm really digging it! Like; INSANELY digging it. I'm in love! And I love that my wallet matches the "leather" part on the bag too.

I also found out, apparently, I'm drawn to purple! LoL (water bottle, coffee cup, bag, mat and bolster... ALL purple!)

I have to say. Not being around technology all that much was SUPER great! I think that's definitely something I'm going to work on! Getting rid of that addiction! Because it was AWESOME!

I also have to say, as tired as I was... It was something that I constantly held gratitude for. I was constantly finding myself in that state of "Wow! I'm here, and I'm so thankful that I am." On top of that, I felt like it was just where I was meant to be. Everything felt right! Like everything was happening the way it was supposed to and this truly IS what I'm supposed to be doing! 

Funny thing is, I have this thing where prior to starting something new within yoga; an animal or insect crosses my path. Like, literally. Before I started practicing, each time I started a new class (like when I ventured on my own), and NOW when I enter yoga teacher training. You can choose to believe in this kind of stuff or you can think I'm a little weird or "cooky". I am just the type of person who believes EVERYTHING happens for a reason and has meaning.

This didn't happen until Sunday. I was sitting on my bolster, taking notes and listening to lecture when I noticed a cricket like, ALL in my space. I'm not the biggest insect fan. But, I know enough; or rather I believe enough, to know not to kill it. So, I scooted it along. As I watched it scurry over to my mat, and just chill staring at me. Once it felt like I had noticed it's presence, it just kept walking/hopping away towards the front of the room.

When I googled Cricket Spirit Animal This is what I found;

*I usually use Spirit-Animals.com for this.

If Cricket has jumped across your path;

It is a sign of extreme good luck. All the things that you have been working toward and dreaming about are now possible. Stay open to guidance and cosmic messages and you will know exactly what you have to do. Whether its buying a lottery ticket, interviewing for a new job, or being in the right place at the right time. All things are possible right now – all you have to do is feel that you deserve it!

Additional Associations for Cricket…

Good luck

Emerging Self

Enhanced intuition and psychic abilities

Ability to change focus and direction quickly and easily

Grounding

Contentment

Inner Voice

Teaching the power of song in darkness

New Vibrational Energies

Happiness

Finding ones way out of darkness by following their song

Self Expression

Understanding the time to jump out of a situation

Satisfaction

Communication

Good Fortune

Pleasure

Connection to the plant kingdom

Positive Outcomes

So, even if I wasn't truly believing that I was where I was supposed it be THIS totally reassured me. It was eerie, but REALLY really nice! And you can TOTALLY think I'm a weirdo for reading that much into it. But it's so odd that literally, EVERY TIME I start something new in Yoga, some type of animal crosses my path.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR NEXT WEEKEND!!!

b l e s s e d

In life there are always people who come and go. They usually have some sort of purpose or meaning as in the end; you learn something each time someone comes in and each time someone exits your life.

Then there are those who come into your life, like a beautiful storm. They uproot you - in the most powerful p o s i t i v e way. In a way you've been longing for without actually knowing it. They change you. I met Caitlin when I was first starting Yoga. Quite honestly, if I didn't have her as a teacher I truly don't think I would have fallen in love with Yoga as much as I have. Everything about Caitlin is beautiful. She just has this way with people and it's amazing. I am so grateful that we have also become good friends in this life and I seriously cannot thank her enough. She has believed in me when I didn't. She's encouraged me when I needed it, and she's listened to me when I've asked. She is by far my greatest inspiration not just in my Yoga journey, but in life!

Quite a while after my practice started, she began suggesting I check into a teacher training program. At first, I thought; (and even called her) crazy! But as I began attending more than just her Yoga class, it started to click. I needed to do this. I needed to offer what I was looking for in a Yoga class. Because I knew people like me were growing discouraged.

It was her I went to when I felt lost and needed that last little nudge; and it was her I went to when I first got accepted into training! Not only was she ecstatic for me to begin training; she also began developing a plan for me. And this was where I really realized; "Man. I am so freaking blessed to have someone like her in my life."

A couple months after I was accepted at Ganesha, she approached me with this amazing idea. She was going to take a break from teaching over the Summer (which of course was a major bummer for me - but I understood). But while she did that, she still wanted the studio to offer Plus Size Yoga. This time it would be offered as a drop in; with rotating teachers.

She had mentioned to the studio owner about asking me to student teach a class. She would help me sequence it and it would be a start to my training so to speak. I remember just staring at her in awe. I couldn't believe this was actually happening.

In the short time I've known her, my husband and I have become great friends with her and her husband. We've hung out at parties with her HUGE awesome family and I've watched her grow into a beautiful loving mother to the most handsome baby boy. I so truly blessed and eternally grateful that God brought her into my life. I can't even imagine my life (or even beginning this Yoga teacher training for that matter) without her at this point.

I will never ever be able to thank her enough for what she has done for me.

You can go check out Caitlin's Facebook page - Plus Size Yoga here. She offers classes as a series at Shine Studio in Batavia.