Just like you...

I was finally able to log in and get everything fixed on my website. There's so much that needs updating so please bare with me as I get all of this completed. It has been so long since I've even blogged! September 2016... So much has changed since then. There are still things I very much plan to keep private. In fact, when I opened the blog tab and saw the "+" to create a new post I immediately froze and went into panic mode. It isn't that I don't want to create and share content with you all. I do! I'm just having an extremely hard time with putting words to paper these days. Writing has always been an outlet for me and to not have that, I have to say I've been a little lost. The 'problem' here is now I have this yoga business. I guess it's not really a problem; hence why I quoted it - But so many of my students think I am this person who has it all together. What happens when the walls come down and you see that I really am just like you? I have the same worries and problems as you all! And while I'd like to continue portraying that my life is near perfect; the simple fact of the matter is that it is very much so not anywhere near perfect!

I go to yoga classes and I think of my to-do list or my grocery list just like you. Something comes up that stresses me out and I deal with it just like you do! In fact, I have the added bonus of going to a class and paying attention to everyone else's mat but my own because that's just where my brain goes. "Is she in alignment?" "Does she need help?" "Why isn't this teacher offering her additional props or modifications?" Keeping my mind from wandering off my mat has become my BIGGEST challenge since becoming a yoga instructor. Add that to everyday worries and insecurities and well.... Here I am - just like you!

Being a yoga instructor isn't a magic fix for these kinds of things. They help; sure. But that's because they give me outlets to go to when I need it. I complain to my yoga instructor and she tells me to get my shit together and gives me a whole new outsiders point of view to look at the entire situation differently. I lag in my practice too guys! There are days when I just don't want to go to yoga. Maybe it's because I'm exhausted from the week... maybe it's because I don't want to deal with the issues that I have come up in my practice... maybe it's because the last 6 weeks in Savasana I've literally laid there and balled my eyes out for no apparent reason. Whatever it is; I give the same excuses as you do! I blow it off JUST like you do! and much like you, I can totally tell when I am needing yoga back into my life and still; it doesn't make it any easier! 

So; here I am. Back from my rut - or rather beginning to dig myself out of my rut because I'm done self-sabotaging myself. The mountains that I was merely only supposed to climb I've kept with me! I am only here in this place because of ME. MY ACTIONS! MY Choices! I want to hold better classes for you all and give you all what you all so desperately need! And that means you get to meet the real me! No smoke and mirrors this time!

I've got some things up my sleeve! I'm going to take the next couple weeks to get my website updated and I'll slowly unveil! If there's one thing I've realized it's that sharing yoga with you is most definitely part of my life's purpose. Being able to hold space for each and every one of you is one of the most humbling experiences I've ever witnessed. You all enrich my soul to no end and so I want to thank you for that! I'm so glad that I chose this path and yet somehow I think if I never ended up choosing it, it still would have been my destiny! 

Tribe Sisterhood Campout: 2016

This past weekend I attended Tribe Sisterhood Campout at Mullen's Farm in Elburn. Going into it, I wasn't exactly sure what to expect. I found myself super "hermit" like, and taken aback as I just observed everything that came to be. I didn't network much. I talked to a few ladies, but I mostly just sat back and listened to conversations. It was a LOT to absorb. It almost felt like a bit of a culture shock in a way - but when you got down to it, we really were all the same... Of same faiths, of same beliefs, of same values. Just all different expressed in our own unique individual ways.

This was my first time camping in a tent. Granted, I've back yard camped in a tent before (or glamped as some of the guys like to tease). But I've never put up a tent in my life... and I've never been on an actual camp site. So that was pretty neat! Something I definitely want to do more of (but only in the cooler months). The first day opened with an amazing opening circle ceremony and then the entire day was filled with workshops.

Photo Credit: Shelli Mullens

Opening ceremony starts with us in a huge circle surrounding the fire pit. We all join hands and spiral around the pit. Once we are back where we started, we grab our embroidery floss we chose at registration. Shelli tells us to go to 2 sisters whom we have never met and to tie our strings together; end to end. Once we do this, we then take it to one person who strings it through some sort of apparatus before sending it over to Shelli. Once all ends are taken, the end result is a HUGE web which we are all tangled up in. After all ends were accounted for, all of our strings were then connected together, weaved though the apparatus into one beautiful multi-colored strand. 

The End Result:

Photo Credit: Shelli Mullens

Then started the workshops;

The first workshop we went to was about Collective Healing. We were late to the workshop because we lost track of time, but I felt like we arrived at the best possible time to tune into that conversation. Almost like we got there exactly for what we needed to hear. Denise was so sweet and of course everything she had to say was so insightful! This workshop was all about focusing on our basic needs and being able to give empathy rather than sympathy. To be able to recognize why someone is acting the way they are, and to not take on the energy they are giving off; but merely empathize with them. Because, we have ALL felt the way someone is expressing anger or sadness before. 

It was just a lovely talk and I'm so glad we were able to tune into it.

Second we went to the Shamanic Journeying workshop with Heather. This was to me a bit of a "culty" part of the workshops. Honestly, I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I did it. I read up on it a little before attending and thought it would be super interesting to attend. I come from Christian faith, but I am so intrigued by all other faiths that I love exploring and watching.

We set up in a barn. Immediately, I recognized the energy in the room. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good. I just took note, and took a seat in a spot that called to me. When she began, I just remember feeling really uneasy. I think I even heard "Go Get a Bible" in my mind and smiled and thanked my Grandma Don for being with me. She instructed us to call upon our spirit animals if we knew what they were. I don't; but immediately called upon the Phoenix for some reason. So, we begin with the rituals and visualization and at this point I'm just really on edge. I can feel the energy begin to shift in the room and I notice my hands in a grounding mudra. 

When she finally gets to me, my eyes are softly closed, and I am still clenching my fists in this grounding mudra. I'm holding really tight when I feel as though I'm about to be touched on my back. I keep my eyes closed. She continues and later on starts with the drum. At this point, I feel really uneasy. I feel a male presence behind me and the closer she gets, I begin to feel as though someone is breathing down my neck. My fists are now wrapped around the arms of my chair and I'm white knuckled. She approaches me and my eyes clench tighter. The drum is beating and it's vibrating my entire body. Clenching the chair, eyes tightly shut, I begin repeating in my mind over and over "I only let light in. I only let light in. I only let light in." I must have said it 50 times. Finally, the feeling went away. But about 5 minutes later she decides we need to move from the barn. I overhear her talking about the negative energy and I'm super glad I wasn't the only one that felt it. I don't know what message I was supposed to receive... But that definitely wasn't the way I wanted to get it. Outside, we each took turns beating the drum.

I am not sure I want to do this again. It was definitely an experience.

The last workshop we attended was a Meditaton led by Pavla. This was by far the coolest experience. Also in the barn. I know what you're thinking. But no, the energy was completely different!!! It was lighter... It even seemed brighter in the room.

We began our meditation with 12 rounds of OM and it felt GOOD! The entire thing felt fabulous! Almost as though I was floating. Pavla begins to take us through a journey of the chakras begining in the root and asks us to see a brick red color. As this color finally appears to me, she begins to ask us to visit the sacral chakra. Immediately I see bright orange. A warmth comes over my body and after a while we move to the solar plexus chakra. She calls for us to see yellow and almost immediately again, a bright vivid yellow appears. This woke me from my trans. Not only was it so bright, it was almost like someone was shining something towards me on purpose. I open my eyes to see if that's what she is doing but there she is, eyes closed, still talking us through the meditation. I'm kind of shocked, but amazed and so I close my eyes and drift back into the meditation. We move to the heart. Normally this is green however this time I don't see green. I see pink. She chimes in with describing why we may be seeing pink. It was as if she literally just read my mind and I open my eyes once again. She's still talking; eyes closed. The rest of the way through the chakras, I couldn't see any of the colors. I think by that time I had awakened myself from it too much to get back.. BUT I also felt myself drifting to sleep. So, that could also be why too I suppose. I left the meditation feeling very calm. Which only made me interacting with people even more of a challenge.

After that, we walked around to the various tents and I listened mostly as Caitlin networked and offered her barters up.

For dinner Caitlin and I packed tons of snacks. But I also picked from the potluck buffet. Then after, we returned to our tent to get ready to just chill. As we were getting ready, we were called to the campfire for story time and songs.

There An told the story of Bluebeard from Women Who Run With Wolves. (I ordered the book today). I've heard of the book but that was the first time I've truly learned what it was about. I'm super intrigued and I'm so looking forward to a great late summer read!

An telling the story of Bluebeard

After, we headed back to our tent and decided to do some tarot.

We each decided to work with the Animal Spirit Deck and then also my regular tarot deck. The questions we asked were;

1.) What was the message I was supposed to receive in the barn?

                 and

2.) What message does my spirit guide have for me.

My Spirit Animal Card: Panther

Literally every single one of my cards, from that Panther card to the 3 I pulled from the tarot deck ALL had to deal with purging. The message was literally as clear as day and I remember Caitlin looking at me after she read the 3rd card to herself before reading it aloud and saying, "You better go home, and f***ing PURGE!" As she read it, I got goosebumps.

So... My new project is to develop a schedule to get everything I want to done around the house. Last year, I made a check list to keep on the fridge for a few months. I set assigned projects to weeks and weekends and forced myself to complete them at those times. Then, to give myself even more satisfaction, I even made a check off box to check it off as we completed. 

I'm going to be doing this to tackle all of these overwhelmingly large projects!

All in all, though I was so quiet and taken aback. I learned so much and I literally CANNOT WAIT until next year!

Love & Light Sisters!!!

YOU are more important than a number!

A few weeks ago I went to dinner with a few friends.  At one point during this dinner, I remember making note of my butter knife and imagining what it would feel like to slice my veins open with it. Thinking that it had to be better than enduring this entire dinner conversation. This is literally what I envisioned as I sipped my alcoholic beverage and listened to this discussion go down. This hasn't been the only time. In fact, I've been brewing a post like this since January; if not before. I just feel like lately, I keep having the same dinners over and over. So much so, that I've finally decided I'm going to say something.

So, the ENTIRE 3 hours spent over dinner revolved around weight and the number that reflected back to them on the scale. Sure, at times I may have felt super uncomfortable during these conversations because I was definitely bigger than the rest of them, and if they thought that about themselves just what did they think of me?

But listen, if exercise and getting healthy is what you’re into; by all means! And Kudos to you for working on your health. Seriously. Losing inches and pounds is HARD work and you most definitely deserve to be congratulated and applauded for each pound lost and the dedication it took you to get there. It's inspiring! It truly is! But if your entire dinner conversation revolves around a number on the scale; THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG! If you’re holding yourself back from dating or from taking a trip because the number on the scale doesn’t reflect what you, in your mind, classify as “perfect”; then THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG! Regardless of what that number is, you are BEAUTIFUL!  

No, I’m not just saying that. You are so much more than that number. You see, were put on this Earth to make a difference regardless of how big or small you are. That number, small or large, DOES NOT define you as a person and quite frankly I hate to break it to you, but changing that number will also not define you as a person either.

It’s not going to magically drop off a man at your doorstep… It’s not going to magically make everything okay. You’re going to get where you so desperately want to be and the unhappiness isn’t going to magically go away.

By now you’re reading this, infuriated with me and thinking “Well Miss Know It all, what should I do then?” My answer to that is, well, I’m not exactly sure. I don’t know all of the answers. But what I do know is that from the moment you begin to look within yourself your life will begin to drastically change.  If someone walking down the street taunting you about your body and the way you look isn’t okay; then why is it okay for you to be doing the same thing to yourself over and over like a broken record? Those flaws or imperfections you’re focusing on day in and day out are YOU. In all retrospect, they aren’t really flaws; they’re what make you a person. A beautiful, living, breathing person with beautiful insight and valued opinions appreciated by the world and the people like me that reside in it.

It’s time to focus your attention in and become comfortable in our own skin! I know it's easier said than done. Of course, even the most positive person has their days where the self-negativity arises. But I promise you that if you remind yourself over and over that YOU'RE WORTH IT, that you are more than a number, that you're more than the size of your calf, arm or your butt and focus your attention on the positive; that negative self talk will go away. It might come back... Matter of fact, I'll warn you that it most definitely will.  Just because I say that it’s okay to tune into your body and accept the way it is doesn’t mean you can’t long for change. It’s okay to want to change your body!  To work towards a healthier you. It’s okay!

What’s not okay, and what I won’t just sit by and watch, is you tormenting yourself over the way you look or the number that reflects back to you on the scale. Of course I’d like to work on my own body and improve my health by shedding some of the excess weight that I carry. But do you know what I don’t want to do? I don’t ever want to lose ME! Because big or small, I am still me and I’m not going anywhere... and neither are you.

All the love in the world,

M

Dear Future Student,

My goal in this yoga world has always been to be the stepping stone. 

A stepping stone for the one who says "I can't ever do yoga" or a stepping stone for the one who simply needs an hour of stillness. 

Yeah, I'm going to push you, but not in only physical ways. Sure some of the poses we will do may be challenging. But I’ll tell you, THE most challenging thing you can do is be on YOUR mat. In your own body and in your own mind. 

Everything; EVERYTHING in life stops us from tuning into ourselves even the slightest bit. 

So yeah. It's probably going to suck that I'm asking you to be still. To control your movement by using your breath of which you're also controlling. 

It'sp r o b a b l y going to suck that I'm explaining the pose, walking you through it a couple of times and then there is silence.

You're probably going to want me to talk.

To fill in the void. 

But guess what? 

This is where YOU come in. If you can't be okay with the silence, THAT'S where I need YOU work.

It isn’t that I’m not leading you. I'm watching. Of course, I'm going to make sure you aren't struggling. I'll even chime in to remind you to focus on your breathing and to make sure you aren't holding your breath. I’ll even step in sometimes and tell you where to focus your breath or your energy.

I'm going to throw things out like ‘Hinge’ pose, where I'm asking you to truly think about which body part is moving and when. This pose is great for your hamstrings, glutes and core. But do you know what's getting more of a workout? Your mind! 

You have to remember to inhale and raise your arm, to exhale and lower it at the same time you raise your leg, to inhale again and lower your leg and raise your arm up above your head. Then after all of that, you have to remember to stop. That on that next exhale you're only lowering your arm before you begin this whole entire sequence of movement again. 

Sure. Those muscles you're working are getting a great workout. 

But your mind… That's what’s getting the brunt of it. 

It's okay that you don't like slow yoga. 

It's also okay if you want a faster pace. 

That means you've progressed past the point of my instruction. That means it's time to push yourself more to experience the benefits of other styles and postures in yoga. To see what else there is that you like and don't like.

It could also mean that while you've mastered the types of poses I'm cueing, you haven't yet been able to in tune to your body. And although you can complete an entire Vinyasa flow sequence easily (which I commend you for), you may also need more work on slowing down and getting in tune with your body!

Please know though, in no way, shape or form did you just waste your time;  For one, you learned something about yourself. You learned what you like – and what you don’t. You even spoke up and said what you preferred! That’s amazing! Do you know how many people keep silent on that kind of stuff?

You should also know that you didn’t waste my time either. That last hour we just spent together is so valuable to me. I’ll use it to better my teaching in the weeks, months and years to come. I’ll make changes and tweak things we did. I’ll even pull things that I really liked from our time together and bring them into a future class of mine.

In that short amount of time we spent together; we both learned things! Seriously, how rare is that? How amazing is it you can leave a situation having bettered yourself, and the person you just experienced it with?

Just remember, in the midst of all the chaos, to always check back with yourself. To give your mind that work out again, and to take the time your body so desperately needs in order you to listen to yourself. 

My First Teaching Experience

As most of you already know, the night before I began Teacher Training at Ganesha, I embarked on my first ever Yoga class as a teacher.

All the planning and practicing lead up to me finally making my debut. I am so grateful to Caitlin for making this happen! For believing in me and pushing me. And to Kay for allowing me to come into the studio and teach. I am just so blessed!

I had a GREAT turn out! It was an awesome group of 11 amazing women made up of family, friends and friends of friends. The fact that each and every one of them came to show their support is just mesmerizing. It wasn't for every one, and I'm okay with that. But for those who I did "change" - it was an amazing feeling to be a part of that.

I arrived at the studio at 5:45. My class didn't start until 7. I just needed to breathe, in a comforting environment and "get in the zone". I took some time to read over my class and then I decided to set up the room. I knew I would have quite a few people and I didn't want to spend 20 minutes just getting set up. So, I set up 11 spaces. Thanks to my fabulous family and friends, I ended up having the most attend for the drop-in. Which was AWESOME!

When I started class, I got a little nervous. I knew I was going to have that moment where I froze. So, that's why I took the time to write everything out. Even with that, there were still some points I skipped.

I only got lost once. That was at the end of the practice. I would say the room was half relaxed and half "what do I do? I can't hear". I wasn't sure what tone to use. I didn't want to scream. It's also hard to get up there and command things of people. Especially when you're nice. So, I'd say I haven't found my yoga voice yet. But I'm getting there.

It was actually amazing to have that under my belt before doing the round robin at teacher training. I felt more comfortable, PLUS I went off what I had sequenced in that class.

I wanted the evening to be about balance and bliss. Not so much balance pose wise. But finding that balance within life and your practice. I wanted people to feel like, "oh my gosh! this helps with all of the stress I had today. I NEED TO COME BACK!" Some did.

And some it just wasn't for. They wanted to m o v e. And I can't blame them for that. As I've said before, the beautiful thing about yoga is it can be so many things. I want my practices to be of course a challenge to you, but be gentle and relaxing all the same. You could say I would want it to challenge you more mentally than physically in the fact that I want you to challenge YOURSELF to put YOU first!

There were quite a few who asked me when I was teaching next! Genuinely; they loved it! That was so amazing! It was worth everything!!! I even had my Mom call me to ask "Well, when are you teaching there again?" "Oh, well, they should add a drop in!" and "Well, Okay, I think I want to come to Caitlin's class with you!" I've been begging her to come with me to Caitlin's class for almost 2 years now!!! So, If I could turn my Mom... That was an AWESOME thing for me. Lots asked me when I would be back, when there would be more yoga for them, and where I would suggest they go to find it. It was an awesome feeling to be able to bring this into people's lives. MY YOGA... MINE... My yoga made them start to love it and long for more of it. That still gives me chills.

Finding MY YOGA is a work in progress. I know what I want; for the majority. I'm finding things I want to add. I'm just starting my training. So, it could very well change. I'm just keeping an open mind about everything. If I don't feel I'm ready to teach in November, I won't. or maybe I'll limit myself to what I teach until I get ALL of the training I want. That's the beauty of this. I can go at my own pace. I have the judgement to control when and what I teach. Sure, I can come out of this and be like, "LETS GO!" But... It's not about that for me. I want to be the best teacher I can be! So, if I have to wait; I'll have to wait. We'll see what happens. I'm excited! I've got lots of things planned to learn all I can!!!

This is my true calling, and I couldn't feel more at peace!

Sequencing Part 3

Last week I finished tweaking my sequence. I ended up taking TONS of notes on my actual sequence, so I went ahead and re-typed it. But, I found as I've gone through it the last few nights; I'm still making notes. Writing down all the things I want to say, and the things I want to explain. I need to write them down so I don't forget.

I don't want to be that girl at the front of the class reading off of the paper. But there are sometimes where I think I need to. I'm not very good at explaining what I'm doing while I do it. My mom will attest to this, I'm sure. So I have to constantly remind myself that I need to be talking while I'm moving. Right now, just starting - that's hard for me. SO I can't just see the sequence pictures and go. I need to have something to back me up, in case I'm up there and I freeze.

I actually have a feeling I may not need much while I'm up there. At the studio I think I'll be more in the zone. But, I also don't want to get up in front of everyone and then be at a loss for words. It's going to be overwhelming. But it's going to be great! I have 2 days until I teach and I'm so nervous now! It's all setting in and becoming real!

If I can get half way through the practice; I'm golden! While they're laying there isn't much I have to demonstrate. I just have to be really good at explaining and adjusting. That I think I can handle!

I went through the practice again last night. I caught myself thinking "what if this happens?" and wondering if some of the ladies will actually be able to. Then that got me thinking of adjustments. Just so I didn't forget that, I came up with a plan for one of the poses to be able to adjust everyone and get everyone to benefit from it. I was uber proud of myself for that. Because I sure would have been there; staring at Caitlin mouthing HELP! haha

I also practiced teaching on Eric. Bad idea. He doesn't listen to me, and that gets frustrating. He doesn't look at me like a teacher and so I get that. But add that in with the dogs going nuts trying to figure out why Daddy is laying on the floor and it was just overwhelming. I gave up.

Anyway. Sequencing is HARD work. Being a perfectionist makes that even harder!

I teach in 10 days!

I can't believe it's already nearly a week until I teach! I truly can't believe it at all!! Thank you all for joining me on my journey here. I am so grateful for such great friends and family like you. If you're interested in coming to my class (which, um - hello! you better be!), here are the details;

When? Thursday August 20th

What time? 7:00-8:15pm (please arrive a little early to set up your spot!)

Do I need to bring anything? NOPE! Not at all. The studio is kind enough to have yoga mats, bolsters, blankets and props for us to use throughout out practice!

What can I expect? A gentle heart opening class that will challenge and relax you both mentally and physically! We will use gentle heart opening poses to create a balance from within the heart. You'll leave feeling renewed and refreshed.

How much? Shine's drop-in rate is $16. If you have previously purchased a class pack, you may also use this for this class.

You say a challenge, what if I can't do what you're asking of me? Trust me, we've all been there! I'll have several modifications for you to get you where you need to be. If at any point during the class you "get lost" I promise I'll find you and get you to where you need to be!

If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to email, call or text me!

but why?

The other night I was out at a bar with some friends and some of us were a little more under the influence than the others - sure. In all honesty, I had a stressful day, and I really just needed to unwind, have a drink and have some fun. So anyway, there we are laughing and carrying on and trying to make small talk when I get slapped in the face with this question; do you think your weight will hinder you getting a job in a studio.

I've always thought about how I'd answer this. But I never expected to be hit so off guard with it. It never really occurred to me that some people may think I'm getting my yoga certification and wanting to apply at a place like LA Fitness, or Corepower... somewhere where though it's a gym, and you're supposed to "work on getting in shape", it's still mainly geared towards those with a thinner figure. I'm most definitely not wanting that. My soul purpose in getting my certification and wanting to spread my yoga with the world is because I believe that Yoga can truly be for anyone.

I've also been asked, "Why Yoga? "What is the point? Is it to loose weight? relax? be more flexible?"

Oh, and then there's my favorite. The point people try to make of it being an Eastern religion thing, and I'm not following my path to God through Jesus Christ. Really?

Honestly, I really think the best way to answer is to explain to you that Yoga truly means different things to different people.

Of course going into it, I was always curious. But again, that "you have to be thin to do this" mantra kicks in and it truly hinders not only someone who's body type is bigger, but someone who may have injuries and can't move in certain positions - or heck; even move off of the chair.

So, of course I was afraid to try it. I remember browsing online, trying to find something to help me. There was little to none. Literally THE only thing I found, was a class that a friend had talked about which was already full, and Anna Guest-Jelley's Curvy Yoga. That's it! And I'll tell you what... That's some serious slim pickings!

Now that I've had experience through those two, finding body positive websites and gatherings has been a lot easier. This community is also growing, which is also making it somewhat easier to find things. But I think back to that first I time I wanted it, but couldn't find it - and I WANT to be someone's option. Not only that, but I want to be able to give someone that option! 

And now I'm seeing stories where people are complaining on the simple fact of having "fat-yoga" or other select Yoga classes for different body types. You think I'd be where I'm at now had I not gone to a Plus-Size Yoga class? I don't. I would have hated it. I know it. I went into it afraid, and not knowing what to expect, but do you know what I learned from that?

IT'S OKAY TO BE AFRAID!
It's okay to try something new! It's okay to step outside of your comfort zone.
IT IS!

Most people don't just do that though. So there HAS to be that option. That door to open to new possibilities... and THAT'S where I come in!

Never in a million years would I have imagined feeling how I do about yoga. It was truly this liberating experience for me. And I remember on day one thinking, "God, I have to find a way to share this!"

The beautiful thing about yoga and it's many many meanings is no matter what type of class you take. Whether it's a Restorative, a Vinyasa Flow, Bikram, Pranayama, etc., the true purpose of any yoga is to put YOU first. To build strength in your mind AND body and to create awareness and harmony not only in your practice, but in your every day life.

As for the religious part. Sure. You're right. It can be religious. But isn't that also what's so beautiful about it? It's creating life within yourself. It's opening you up to new possibilities. It's helping you build strength, stamina and balance. It's helping you love not only the world, but it's turning that love inward. Forcing you to love and accept yourself - "flaws" and all. It's all of these things; and it morphs so beautifully and so flawlessly into the other like the threads of a beautiful fabric.

I was so lost when I started this. When it comes to my relationship with religion and God, I still am to an extent. I went through a period where everything I was taught to believe was being questioned. That was and IS really hard for me to understand. But in my practice, I've found I've grown closer to not only God, but to myself.

That's what I was lacking before.

ME!